


Fault Line

by Siberian



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Violence, M/M, Off Screen OC Deaths, Secret Santa, Sterek Secret Santa 2020, When in Doubt-Contact Author for Full List of Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:02:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siberian/pseuds/Siberian
Summary: The past was cruel. The present uncertain. He doesn't see what is really there. When there is no fight, he runs. This time around, he won't let that happen.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: The Sterek Secret Santa - Edition 2020





	Fault Line

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saundrasays (Greekgeek68)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greekgeek68/gifts).



> I would like to dedicate this to Saundrasays aka Lazy-Jane (greekgeek 68). It was written as a gift for the above exchange. I would also like to thank Saundrasays for giving me some more detail on Tumblr concerning her request. It helped out quite a bit. The specific prompts used have been included in an end note. I hope my efforts were successful. This doesn't contain any spoilers. That being said, it is set at the end of the series and it does allude to that timeframe. By way of warnings, we have Angst, Implied Violence, Implied Sexual Content, Off Screen OC Deaths. I've rated this Mature for Romance and Implied Sexual Content. I believe that's everything. Enjoy!
> 
> Come join me on [Tumblr](https://siberianthewriter.tumblr.com)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The night it happened had been horrifying. They’d been outnumbered. Almost the entirety of the pack had been injured. With Scott busy fighting off two werewolves, the Alpha of the invading pack had set his sights on Derek. When the Alpha had died it was with a look of shock frozen on his sharp features. The moment Derek’s eyes had flared blood red the battle was won. They’d sent the broken pack out of Beacon Hills with their metaphorical tail between their legs. All of them had scattered sluggishly afterward, determined to tend to their wounds and to ignore the new problem of having two Alphas. 

The next day he’d gone to see Derek only to discover him packing. When he’d confronted the werewolf about his abrupt departure, it had gotten him what he’d expected. They’d tried this before. It didn’t work. Instead of causing the pack problems, Derek was determined to remove himself to eliminate any potential complications. They’d just started dating at that point. When he’d brought it up, the other man had looked guilty. What he couldn’t help noticing though was the look of determination also stayed. As much as Derek didn’t want to lose what they were building, he wouldn’t ask him to abandon Scott at the same time. 

He’d called him an idiot and had texted his best friend. It had Scott immediately coming to the loft. This led to a four-hour discussion that eventually had Derek folding like a house of cards. That night he’d “accidentally” fallen asleep on the couch at the loft. When he’d woken up to the smell of breakfast and an apology the fear that Derek would sneak off faded. The following days were tense. Over the years, Derek had sort of fallen into the role of a mentor. It was a role he’d confessed one quiet evening to liking very much. 

Once again having the pressure of a pack on his shoulders wasn’t something he wanted. The responsibility was something he’d never wanted. At the time of Peter’s defeat though, he’d believed it was a role he needed to step into. When it was clear that Scott could handle it, that he wasn’t needed, letting go of the authority had come naturally. The confession had prompted him to tell Derek that wasn’t true. No matter what Scott thought at the time, Derek had been needed. He always had been. That hadn’t changed. Although the other man hadn’t looked convinced, he’d kissed his boyfriend sweetly until the look of doubt disappeared. 

As the days slipped into months, things got easier. The two Alphas found a way to restore their balance despite their instincts. It helped for Derek to remember that Scott was younger, that the other man was still learning. With this in mind, his new stronger territorial instincts were willing to give the “cub” more leeway. The mentor relationship they’d established morphed slightly. At its core, it became something more familial. Instead of seeing Scott as a fellow wolf, he’d taken on the role of a younger brother. Considering Derek had never had a brother before it was a little humbling to witness. 

There wasn’t also a rush or a strong need to build a pack. The danger Derek faced years ago wasn’t present this time around. For the most part, the McCall pack was strong. It was big enough to protect the town. As more time passed, they’d also made allies in other territories. When the need to follow Monroe surfaced, the traveling had produced the unexpected bonus. It’s funny how that necessity had fostered such a positive change. All of this meant that Derek could take his time to expand his fledgling pack. 

For the longest time, it was just the three of them. Although it shouldn’t be possible, he’d assured his boyfriend that he was in both packs. This meant that, by proxy, his father was in the Hale pack too. That was something Derek wasn’t convinced of either. Instead of acknowledging that, however, he’d only stubbornly change the subject. The first betas to join them were two orphans. They’d been in Kansas chasing after a Monroe offshoot of new hunters. There was a tiny pack in a small town to the northwest. It was a pack that had been building a legacy despite its size. 

The minimal head start was all the hunters needed. In one swift strike, they’d taken down the Bridges pack completely. Of the small group, only a young boy and his younger sister had been left standing. When Derek looked at the Stone siblings there was a painful sort of recognition in his gaze. The boy had been holding the small girl protectively, the minimal weight of the toddler barely keeping him steady. He'd been the one to gently question the older boy. It was enough to identify them as family as well as to get their names. The boy was Lucas and his sister was Avery. They’d later discovered they were seven and three respectively. 

Immediately Lucas had taken to Derek and Avery had clung to him like a limpet. During the drive home, his boyfriend had been subtly trying to promote Scott’s pack. It hadn’t worked. The two young werewolves had already become attached. When he hadn’t accepted them, it hadn’t gone over well. It was seen as a rejection and Lucas wanted to leave Beacon Hills entirely. After a long, tearful discussion, he’d been convinced to stay. At the same time, Derek had wavered enough to accept them into his pack. 

In a lot of ways, their youth had plagued Derek at first. If he couldn’t even protect teenagers, how was he supposed to protect two children? It had taken time to get him to relax even slightly. The reassurance from him as well as his Dad didn’t hurt. They could get hurt, yes. What made it less likely was Derek, him, his Dad, an entire established pack, two cops and an FBI Agent looking out for them. Although it wasn’t infallible, that certainly helped. The next beta to join them was a young man, about a year younger than Derek from Washington. 

As was common with Scott now, Brendon Mathias had come to them seeking a pack. After arriving it was Derek who he’d connected with the easiest. It had the omega choosing to join the rebuilding Hale pack. The next few betas arrived in the same way. At first it was Scott’s reputation alone that drew them to town. This only morphed over time. It wasn’t long before omegas started to randomly mention them all by name. Surprisingly, even he'd gained a few admirers. When his reputation, his exploits really, had managed to draw in an omega he'd been baffled. It was strange to think he could attract something other than trouble. 

The first omega to mention him by name, Darius Caden, had traveled to Beacon Hills from New York. He was about five years his junior, had jet black hair, a solid frame and a wicked mouth. It was often settled into a crooked grin, holding back kind humor or ready to lob out a bitingly sarcastic comment. They'd become thick as thieves pretty much right away. In the end though, he'd joined Scott's pack as they'd also developed a quick kinship. The fact that Darius was almost as wild as he used to be had probably fostered a sense of familiarity. So maybe what he'd initially thought wasn't true. Maybe he _was_ still attracting trouble. 

What all of this boiled down to was that the Hale pack was rapidly expanding. With its size increasing, Derek had started to wear his confidence like a shield. To outside observers it seemed solid. He wasn’t fooled. Over the years, he’d become adept at reading his boyfriend’s state of mind. The confidence Derek was exuding was brittle. All it would take was one hard blow for it to shatter. In anticipation of this happening, he’d been trying for months to build up the other man’s confidence. He’d hoped that when it did inevitably happen that Derek would still be left standing. 

Unfortunately, all of the preparation hadn’t helped. When the metaphorical blow had come, as he knew it would, the insecurity on Derek’s features had been plain. In an effort to save face he’d retreated. The pack had wanted to follow but he’d encouraged them to hang back. They wouldn’t return to the loft until they got his leeway. It left the younger members with nowhere to stay. That problem was resolved by Scott stepping in to invite them to the McCall pack house. Although he could tell they didn’t want to be away from Derek, over time they’d come to grow close to Scott as well. He’d assured all of them that everything would be fine. 

With an encouraging smile in place, he’d left the Preserve to seek out his wayward boyfriend in his chosen place of seclusion. The door to the loft had come open with the normal level of ear-piercing noise. It did nothing to garner Derek’s attention. Instead, he stayed where he was by the large bay of windows, his face turned away from the room and his shoulders tight with tension. After closing the door, he moved further into the room. The noise of his quiet footfalls stopped when they stood inches apart. He didn’t say anything at first, his squinted gaze simply examining the other man’s blank expression. 

All he could see was the right side of Derek’s face. It was enough to tell him that the normally intense gaze was sightless. When the silence stretched on without pause, he spoke up in a low soothing murmur. “What happened tonight wasn’t your fault.” The tension in Derek’s shoulders seemed to flood into the rest of his body. There was a tremble in his jaw which hinted at him clenching his teeth. “You know that’s not true.” He paused a moment. It wasn’t so much to think on the words. Nothing in him believed that he’d been mistaken. 

At the same time, too quick of a response would have Derek dismissing his rebuttal. It would lead his boyfriend to believe that he was brushing off his valid concern. “You’re wrong. None of us could have anticipated what happened. It wasn’t your fault.” As soon as the words were out, the other man looked toward him with an angered expression. “Yes, it was. That attack…it almost got Brendon killed.” There was a pause then as his boyfriend internally scrambled. He waited. The expression on Derek’s face was angered as well as frustrated. Underneath the look was a measure of helplessness as though he wasn’t sure how to voice what he needed to say. That alone kept him silent. 

It was important that Derek felt heard. He knew what it was like to feel invisible, unimportant. Until they’d gotten together, he’d never realized how often the other man had felt the same way. A hard inward breath preceded Derek continuing in a biting tone. “I’m the Alpha. It’s _my job_ to anticipate an attack. The protection of the pack is my responsibility. What happened tonight…it was stupid. It should have never happened.” He crossed his arms loosely, gripping his biceps with his hands. They itched to reach out, to pull his boyfriend into a comforting embrace. The time for that hadn’t arrived yet. It didn’t stop the other man’s agitation from making him jittery. 

“We did our research. There was nothing in the lore about that _thing_ being able to spit venom. You couldn’t have known.” When Derek continued, it was almost as though he hadn’t spoken. “I wasn’t prepared. That was bad enough but then…” The pause nearly had him closing his eyes. He knew what was coming next. “If it wasn’t for Scott then Brendon would be dead right now. Another Alpha had to do what I couldn’t.” At the words Derek’s head dipped down. 

His eyebrows pinched together at the look that settled on the much-loved face. As unlikely as it was, the other man looked like he was going to be ill. They met gazes briefly when his boyfriend continued. “I can’t do this. It was a mistake.” The words were barely out before Derek’s gaze returned to the floor. A second later, he turned away from the window and quickly moved further into the interior of the loft. At the retreat he called out gently. “Hey.” It didn’t garner a response. His gaze followed Derek as he moved toward a dresser. The top drawer was yanked open roughly. Once that was done, his boyfriend abandoned it to move toward the closet. 

This is when he moved as well, making his way briskly across the room. “Derek.” When his boyfriend turned back toward the dresser there was a duffle in his hand. As disappointing as it was to see, he couldn’t really say that he was surprised. A few shirts were hastily shoved in the dark interior. He’d just reached the other man’s side when he delved back into the open drawer. With a quick tug, he yanked the bag out of Derek’s hand. “What are you doing? Stop.” The hand that shot out for the bag was easily evaded. He held the duffle away for a moment only to toss it toward the bed. As soon as it landed, Derek moved to walk toward the bed. 

Immediately he stepped in his path with a hand unraised. It pressed lightly into his boyfriend’s chest to keep him in place. The fact that Derek didn’t earnestly try to escape said a lot. What also said a lot was the way that the other man wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I need to leave.” He shot the words down as soon as they were out. “No, you don’t. You’re a good Alpha, Derek.” At that, his boyfriend tried to sidestep his location. When he countered, his hands landed lightly on Derek’s upper arms. “Stop it. Do you hear me? This is crazy.” 

There was a tremulous quality to the other man’s voice when he responded on a sigh. “Stiles.” Lifting his hands, he used them to cradle Derek’s face. The slight pressure he implemented encouraged his boyfriend to meet his gaze. “Hey, look at me.” In Derek’s face, in his frame, was an unmistakable hesitation. Trying to encourage the connection, he slid both of his thumbs soothingly over the defined jawline. “Come on, big guy. You don’t ever have to hide from me. You know that.” The gaze did connect with his at that, although a heavy dose of hesitation remained. “I’m not hiding. I just…I’m…” 

When the words trailed off, he spoke up in a soothing tone. “You’re what, honey?” Instead of maintaining their gaze, Derek looked off to the side. “I’m ashamed.” It took everything he had not to sigh. It was only knowing that his boyfriend would take it wrong that kept the sound at bay. He wasn’t frustrated with Derek so much as feeling a little heartbroken. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” At that the eyes returned. They were blazing with anger, the thick eyebrows now pulled together tightly. 

His hands tightened their grip before the other man could try to shake off the hold. When he quickly spoke again it was firmly, his voice leaded with determination. “We are in this together. All of us. There is no reason for you to be ashamed. It doesn’t matter if Scott saved Brendon.” The declaration had Derek’s mouth coming open. He quickly cut him off. “He wouldn’t even be here to save Brendon if it wasn’t for you. I’m quickly losing count of the number of times you’ve saved all of us. We are a team, Derek. That’s what we do. We save each other. 

Tonight, when Brendon was attacked Scott was closer. It could have been you who stepped in. It could have been anyone. The packs might be split in two but we’re one pack in spirit. If one of use goes down, it affects us all. As hard as it is to say, even then it might not be anyone’s fault. Tonight was a win.” There was a look of disbelief on Derek’s face, both of his wrists being taken into a slightly rough grip. “How can you say that?” He leaned forward abruptly until their foreheads rested together. The air in his lungs escaped on a soft gust of breath. 

When he spoke it was softly, his eyes falling closed. “All of us walked away from it in one piece. That’s enough.” There was a trembling in the hands wrapped around his wrists. It was there and gone in an instant. He knew why a moment later when he was pulled into an embrace. The movement had him melting into a strong chest, his hands falling to allow him to wrap his arms around Derek’s neck. When he felt a brush against his cheek, all he did was tilt his head up into the movement. It was a heavy touch. This had the other man’s stubble scraping heavily against his skin. All he felt was a deep abiding tenderness. 

The urgent presses gave way to a kiss. It seemed as natural as breathing. One moment Derek was rubbing against his cheek and the next their lips were slotted together in a desperate kiss. He tightened his grip on his boyfriend’s neck even as he was pushed backward. The movement of his feet was awkward. If Derek didn’t have a firm grip on his waist, he didn’t doubt that he would have tripped. When his feet did eventually leave the floor, it was for his back to collide gently with the bed. They went down together, his boyfriend draped over him fully. 

The kiss ended only for Derek to lean away a little. In his gaze was some hesitance, hedged with a slight desperation that made his heart ache. “Is this okay? Can we…do you want…?” At the words, he loosened his grip a little and lightly touched his fingertips to his lover’s lips. It was his touch that had the words fading away. The look he leveled Derek with was open. He tried to put everything he was feeling into the soft gaze. “Of course. Always.” There was a look like pain that creased the other man’s features. It had him stroking from his lips up over his cheek with his fingertips. “I love you, Derek. Nothing is going to change that. I promise.” 

Immediately Derek shook his head. “You don’t know that. What if I hurt you or we grow apart? What if you…change your mind?” He could see what had been left unsaid. What if he was disappointed? What if he fell out of love? They were on their way to mating. Although Derek didn’t know he knew that, it had been revealed early on by Peter. In a rare show of concern, Peter had warned him that Derek was already heavily invested. It wouldn’t take much for Derek to want to solidify their relationship. He knew what that meant. In his research mating had come up often. The fact that it was so serious was likely why. 

Once a mating happened, it was a life-long commitment. If this was going to end, he’d likely be the one to cut ties. What this meant was that it wasn’t going to end. This was something he’d wanted for a long time. When they were both ready, he would happily take Derek as a mate. For now, he didn’t say as much. They were still finding their way and both of them needed the time. In the interim, if Derek tried to take off, he’d simply follow. One way or another his lover would come to understand he wasn’t in this alone. With conviction, he spoke again. “I promise.” 

There was a moment of seeming instability before Derek leaned down to resume their kiss. The touch had only just started when he felt frantic hands pulling at his clothes. He wiggled on the bed to help the process along. When it was needed, he leaned up or moved his arms. It was clumsy and awkward. Truthfully, the scattered touches weren’t all that successful. Long minutes later, they’d only managed to remove his jacket and his flannel overshirt. The fabric was thrown off the side of bed. At the sound of it hitting the floor, Derek pulled out of the kiss with a slow outward breath. 

He looked up as the other man hovered over his upper body with his eyes closed. When Derek’s eyes came open the irises were bright red. “Stiles, can I…?” The question ended with his boyfriend tugging down the collar of his shirt. It exposed a large section of his shoulder. He wasn’t really sure what Derek wanted. Thankfully, it didn’t really matter. “Whatever you need, honey.” At first Derek didn’t move or speak, all he did was search his gaze. It was just as he was getting ready to question the delay when his boyfriend spoke again. “I don’t want to take anything, Stiles. I want you to give it.” 

He knew right away that the distinction was important. At the same time, the offer he’d given had basically covered all of the bases. The smile that came to his face was gentle. “Then it’s yours, love.” With a heady groan, his boyfriend leaned down to bury his face against the join of his neck. That was where Derek settled. There was a nuzzle into the space and the feeling of deep inhales against his skin. The passion between them hadn’t lessened. They were close enough that he could feel that Derek was as affected as he was from their activities. Even so, this moment felt different. 

What it hinted at was a need for reassurance, for comfort and for acceptance. He settled his hand on the back on his boyfriend’s head lightly. Turning slightly against the pillow, he placed a tiny kiss in the dark hair. When he spoke, he did so in a whisper. He didn’t worry for a second that the words wouldn’t be heard clearly. “I love you, Derek. I’m yours and your mine. You’re not alone anymore. You haven’t been for a very long time.” Although it was soft, he knew he heard a whimper. All he did was stroke his hands up and down the strong back in warm soothing strokes. 

The gentle nuzzling eventually turned heated. He tipped his head back at the change and bared his throat in a blatant show of submission. They were equals. From the beginning, that’s how it had been. He wasn’t about to be beholden to pack dynamics. Although he’d never outright said it, Derek had never tried to box him into a mold either. That was how it was between mates. It was a marriage of equals. Whether Derek viewed them this way from the beginning or he'd simply picked up on his preferences, he didn’t know. All he did know was that sometimes his boyfriend needed to feel in control. 

There were nights when he needed that too. Where there was a need, they both provided. After what had happened, he knew that Derek felt like things were completely out of his control. If he could ground the other man a little, that was something he was happy to do. As expected, the show of trust had his boyfriend’s instincts flaring to life. The still soft touches became frantic once again. All he did was smile gently, sliding his hands slowly over Derek’s back and letting his lover lead them in a now familiar dance.

When they woke up the next morning, things were better. They weren’t great but they were better. The pack stayed away most of the day. He’d advised against any immediate interaction. Instead, he’d spent the day keeping Derek close and showering him with praise. When the pack did visit it was late in the day. It was also brief. A few days later, things were starting to get back on track. As opposed to staying with Scott, the younger pack members had returned to occupy the spare room upstairs. The arrangement wasn’t ideal. 

It left them little time for intimacy. This lack of privacy was actually the main reason that Derek was house hunting. Trying to rebuild a pack house had been put off for now. Whenever his boyfriend really thought about it, the pain he still carried would always surface. He’d encouraged Derek to explore other avenues for now. The land would always be there. After a full week, things were as back to normal as they ever were. It was a Saturday, so he was spending the day at the loft. The sun was high overhead outside, filling the wide-open space with golden light. 

In front of him were the two children. They were running around the living room and laughing joyfully as they played a made-up game. To his right Derek was wedged into the corner of the sofa. The space between them was minimal, his upper torso leaning in his boyfriend’s direction and his right arm resting behind Derek’s shoulders on the couch. With winter fast approaching, it was quickly decided that they’d stay indoors today. Even with the sun brightly shining there was still a distinct chill in the air. He laughed lightly at the children’s antics. 

“Stiles.” The sound of his name had him looking in the other man’s direction. “Yeah.” At first Derek didn’t say anything. All he did was look deeply into his eyes. It left him slightly concerned, wondering if his boyfriend needed some reassurance. In a subtle smooth motion, he lifted his hand until he could brush over the back of Derek’s head. “What is it, honey?” There was a shift that indicated his boyfriend was going to speak. It was at that exact moment that there was a knock at the door. Both of them looked in that direction. When Lucas spoke, it had both of them looking toward the children. “Apa?” 

He couldn’t resist smiling at the name. The new title had been coined by Avery. It was the young girl’s attempt at calling Derek her Alpha. The affection behind it, however, radiated with father. In short order, the nickname had also been picked up by Lucas. Whenever either of them said the word, he couldn’t help feeling a wash of affection. Its issuance was something that left Derek flustered and him delighted. That was all the young boy said but it was all that was needed. The nod Derek sent him was gently encouraging. It was enough to have Lucas sprinting toward the door. About a second later Avery toddled after her older brother. 

They watched as the excited boy pulled open the door expertly. When it revealed Brendon, Lucas was greeted with a wide smile. “Hey there, sport! How are you doing?” The young boy answered easily with a big smile in return. “Good.” Even as the conversation commenced, Brendon moved inside only for more pack members to filter in. He climbed to his feet at seeing all of their guests. When he got close enough, he scooped up Avery who squealed delightedly at all of the company. The Hale pack quickly gave way to the McCall pack. This surprised him enough to show. 

That earned him a laugh from Scott that sounded humorous. They got close enough to share a one-armed hug. When they withdrew, his best friend held up the pack of hot dog buns he’d been holding. “It seemed like a good day for an indoor barbeque. Surprise!” There was a look of mild hesitation on Scott’s face when he stopped speaking. It was obvious that he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Derek wouldn’t toss them all out of their ear. He smiled easily at the announcement. This was just what the doctor ordered. 

Looking toward his boyfriend, he was happy to see that he looked amicable to the idea. After an exuberant greeting by everyone, the two conjoined packs quickly spread out in the loft. A few minutes later, there were too many werewolves in the kitchen. This translated to some of the group branching off to set the table. The adults not occupied with paper plates, napkins, solo cups and plastic cutlery organized their edible haul. Within a few minutes the surface of the wood table was barely visible. 

Instead of being able to help, they’d quickly been redirected back to the living room. It had them retaking their seat. As soon as he was settled, Avery had wiggled to be set down. He put her down without a fuss. The previous game was resuming, so it was understandable she wouldn’t want to miss out. This time around the two youngest pack members had a few adults roped into their game. He smiled as he watched them, the expression only widening when his Dad was pulled into the fray. When he looked toward Derek, he was sent a small smile. 

The connection was broken a moment later in order for them to watch the kids. This had him lifting his hand again to resume his previous interrupted touch. They couldn’t talk currently but he could still offer up some support. The food being finished had a new sort of chaos breaking out in the room. Considering they were a little short on space, they divided up slightly to eat. The children were placed at the table. This meant that both him and Derek were seated close by to assist. Although Lucas didn’t need much help, having him close to his sister was common. 

The food was traditional Barbeque fare with a choice of either Hot Dogs, Hamburgers or Cheeseburgers as a main course. He’d opted for a Cheeseburger and a Hot Dog. It was delicious. As he’d happily stuffed his face, he’d eyed the two Cheeseburgers on his Dad’s plate. In the end he didn’t say anything. It was a special occasion. The two young werewolves wolfed down their food with all the enthusiasm one would expect from growing children. They enjoyed their food but finished quickly. This wasn’t surprising considering they had a game in progress. 

At first, they played on their own but managed to snag a few of their packmates once they were finished eating. He went back for seconds. It was pretty much the only reason he wasn’t currently playing in the living room. Once everyone was done eating, the food was left for the moment to allow everyone to settle in. They quickly fell into conversation. The left-overs were picked at slowly as time wore on. This pretty much happened the entire time they spoke. With the exception of refrigerated items, the rest of it was always within reach. 

At one point, Derek quietly excused himself and made his escape from the room. His eyes tracked the movement, only falling away when his boyfriend went out onto the balcony. For the moment, he didn’t follow. The chances were good that the other man needed an escape from all of the noise. It was something Derek had grown up with, he’d been used to it a long time ago. Now that wasn’t the case. Although he knew the other man enjoyed having the pack close, being surrounded for a continuous chunk of time could also inspire anxiety. 

He gave it about twenty minutes before making his retreat as well. The path he took to the balcony door was purposefully meandering. It led him through the living room to check in on the children. Although he knew he could trust the pack, he wanted to gage their energy levels. They could easily get too wound up. It was harder for other pack members to notice the almost imperceptible shift. When all seemed well, he moved off with parting kisses. 

The door to the balcony came open quietly but the noise from inside followed him out. It drew Derek’s gaze. Honestly, his mere presence probably would have been enough. Even if his werewolf hearing wasn't a factor, no doubt Derek’s instincts would have come into play. He was sent a smile that was warm. The smile he sent his boyfriend in return came easy. “Hey. How are you doing?” As he spoke, he moved closer. That meant that he had Derek in his grip by the time he finished speaking. One of his hands settled on his boyfriend’s forearm and the other was rubbing his lower back in slow circles. 

The question earned him a nod. “I’m doing good. How about you?” He nodded as well, his lips pulling up into a soft smile. “I’m doing good too. Today has been a great day.” Now that he’d established that Derek was alright, he took in the view. It was getting late at this point. The sun had already started to set, painting the sky in shades of orange, pink and gold. Despite the chill in the air, it looked warm. “Stiles.” He looked toward Derek questioningly. A moment later, he understood the new prompting. It was clear in the other man’s gaze that he wanted to pick up where they’d left off earlier. 

Leaning a little closer, he looked at his boyfriend intently. This was enough to have Derek continuing. “I wanted to tell you that I’m grateful.” He let a little of his confusion surface. What this could be in reference to, he couldn’t say. That was enough to have his boyfriend smiling gently. “You’ve never given up on me. Not once.” With the understanding came a warm smile. He griped the arm under his hand comfortingly. “Why would I, love? I’ve never had any doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to.” 

The uncertainty he expected surfaced. It had his chest tightening with pain but he kept his expression warm. At the same time, he firmed his touch on the other man’s back. When Derek’s gaze flicked downward, he wasn’t surprised. What did surprise him was that it returned a moment later to meet his gaze. “I don’t feel the same way. I never have. All I can see are my failures. It’s gotten better but I’m still struggling.” With that, his boyfriend’s gaze took another slightly longer dip downward. The surprise he felt at the admission couldn’t be masked. This much vulnerability from Derek was rare. 

He didn’t have a hope of responding before his boyfriend continued with a determined tone. “You’ve helped me, so much Stiles. There’s no way I could have done this on my own. I wouldn’t be half the Alpha I am without you by my side.” The declaration had his eyebrows pinching together. “That’s not true. Who you are, what you do, is more than enough. I’m not denying that I contribute but you’re giving me too much credit. You’re a wonderful Alpha, Derek.” As was common, his reassurance was immediately shot down. 

"No, I'm not. The first time around, I was pretty terrible at it. I was never...meant to be an Alpha. I had no training. I only had lore and Peter to guide my actions. I let my fear, my mistrust dictate how I ran the pack. It was never a family. That guaranteed failure from the start. I made a lot of mistakes. I still do. I just think that I'm finally learning from them." He tightened his grip on Derek’s arm and gave it a little jostle. The movement had the other man giving him all of his attention. “That is what makes you a wonderful Alpha. You try. It’s enough.” 

A hand settled over his only to squeeze his hand gently. “Okay. If you say it’s enough then I’ll believe that.” There was a pause then as his boyfriend leaned closer. In his eyes was a look that was weighted. “I’ll believe it, as long as _you believe_ your importance to me. This pack isn’t mine. It’s ours. If we never got together, who knows, maybe I would still be an Alpha. It may even have been to this pack. I don’t know. What I do know is things would have been vastly different.” 

The hand on his shifted enough to pull his hand into Derek’s chest. “Things wouldn’t have been as good as they are now. I wouldn’t have been this happy.” It was at this point that his boyfriend’s eyes fell down to his hand. There was a shyness in Derek’s posture that emphasized just how vulnerable he was feeling. “I wouldn’t have felt like I had a family again.” The words had a bolt of shock traveling through his body. In all of their progress, in the relationship as well as the pack flourishing, he’d have never expected this. He still hadn’t recovered when Derek lifted his hand enough to give it a kiss. 

“I love you, Stiles. I can’t tell you how much. Whatever I say feels…inadequate. The thing is, I need you to understand, how important you are.” When the other man looked up there was a look on concentration on his face. It was a little blurred due to the tears lining his eyes but he saw it well enough despite the distortion. “You’re always telling me how important I am to the pack. I deny it only for you to say I’m wonderful. If I shouldn’t brush off my importance then neither should you.” The smile that tugged at Derek’s lips was playful. “I don’t think that’s really fair, do you?” 

He chuckled a little. At the slight movement, twin trails of tears streaked down his face. A moment later, Derek lifted his free hand to brush over his cheek. “No, I guess not.” The hand stroked over his face twice more and another kiss was given to his hand. It was only then that his lover continued. “It’s getting a little cold. What do you think about heading back in?” He nodded slightly. The movement was enough to have Derek leaning away from the railing. In an abrupt motion, he quickly leaned forward to give the other man a kiss. 

An arm wrapped around his waist pulling him into his boyfriend’s chest automatically. When he pulled back a moment later, it was only enough to speak in a whisper. “I love you too, Derek.” The words immediately preceded another kiss. As they fell back into the gentle moment, his hands lifted to cradle his boyfriend’s face delicately. In counter another arm looped around his waist to draw him closer. In the other man’s embrace the chill in the night air felt negated by Derek’s warmth. It felt comforting, safe. Perfect. What he felt was loved.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts used were Derek is a good Alpha, Derek is Trying, Hurt/Comfort and Mates (Mentioned)


End file.
